After 19 years in the pastoral ministry, I finally have a Facilitator.

My Facilitator, from the Michigan District Office stopped by for a visit in January. His part of Michigan is all of the congregations with an average attendance between 200 and 300 per Sunday.

Michigan, the largest District in Synod, has five Facilitators. Texas has four Facilitators. The Pacific Southwest District has one and intends to add three more, and the Eastern District has one.

Some Districts will be "calling" Facilitators during their District Conventions this spring and summer. Others already have Facilitators, but don't list them in the Annual or they call their Facilitators by a different title such as "District Administrative Assistant."

What is a Facilitator you ask? Well, they are "called" LCMS pastors who work for the District.

What do they cost? They cost about a $100,000.00 a year or more, if you include travel, office space/insurance, secretarial services, health, and pension funds.

What do they do? They facilitate, that is, they assist, help, and smooth the progress of congregations and pastors.

My Facilitator and I met for about two hours. He was friendly, helpful, a very good listener, reassuring, non-judgmental, open, communicative, and just a really nice guy. He told me he could help me and my church with our concerns, programs, give us ideas, be a resource person, and help develop new initiatives.

I thought I was back in the YMCA with my camp Counselor in Jamaica, Queens, New York City.

After telling him a little bit about my ministry and our congregation, I felt the need to be open and honest. What good is a Facilitator with whom you can't be open and honest?

I looked him in the eyes and told him the truth. I said, "There are no Facilitators in the Bible or the Lutheran Confessions. We made it up and you really don't have a "call" and you are really not a pastor." I conceded that he had a "call" from the District and a salary, but he wasn't doing anything that God would recognize as the pastoral ministry." I said, "Pastors really hold a divine office and Facilitators do not. You are not real."

Then I told my Facilitator some of the negative opinions being floated by lay people about Facilitators. I said, "Congressman Dannemeyer tells me Facilitators are just District flunkies designed to be the eyes and ears of the District President. They are useless wastes of the laymen's money."

My Facilitator handled my comments very well. He didn't flinch, change his expression, comment, or even act like I said anything negative or critical. This was very reassuring.

I told my Facilitator we weren't in need of his services nor, ethically, should we ask for them. Again, I looked him right in the eyes and said, "Our congregation isn't going to pay for one penny of your salary or give anything to the District until our congregation is assured that: 1. Every mission congregation has the name Lutheran on the front; 2. The District Board of Directors and all the mission Congregations only agreed to confess three Creeds and only three Creeds and not confess any made-up creeds (I'm very picky that way.); and, 3. Every mission congregation is going to use orthodox Lutheran hymnbooks.

The previous District President, John Heins, Chairman of the Council of District Presidents, told me that with this kind of talk I was trying to impose the Prussian Union on LCMS congregations. Perhaps this time instead of pastors being put in jail, it will be District Presidents.

Once again My Facilitator looked very pleasant, and received my words without criticism. This was even more reassuring.

I then began to explain in detail that the Michigan District could make up any name it wanted and call it a pastor, but the Districts were really quite delusional. Our congregation is also free to "call" a "Debilitator" and neutralize the Districts' Facilitators and it would be just as valid.

I pleaded with My Facilitator to give up this nonsense and go back into the parish. There is supposed to be a clergy shortage. Didn't he go into the ministry to preach and teach and administer the sacraments?

I said, "You are forty-five. You could have twenty more years in the ministry. You could be a real pastor once again and have a real divine "call" from a real congregation. Or what is it? Is the money too good?"

My Facilitator didn't respond. He was just warm and friendly. I was so reassured I asked my new friend, the Facilitator, to go with me to a local restaurant here in St. Clair Shores.

I said "If we get there in time I can get credit for attending a Kiwanis Inter-Club meeting."

He responded, "Of course." I've never talked to a pastor who was so cooperative.

We got there just in time, as the meeting was breaking up. A woman, whom I hadn't seen in 9 years shouted out at the President of the other Kiwanis Club, (I belong to Shorewood and we were visiting the Roseville Club.) "Hey, he can't get credit, he hasn't been here long enough, this is illegal."

I introduced her to my Facilitator as the mother of a woman whose marriage I preformed in the summer of 1990. She said, "That's right," and pointing at me she said, "I don't care what he says, my daughter is a pastor!"

I explained to my Facilitator that her other daughter is the pastor of an evangelical, charismatic church and 9 years ago I had told this woman, that according to the Bible, God does not recognize women as pastors no matter what we call them.

She began to explain my problems to my Facilitator and I began to speak to the young woman next to her. The young woman was Miss St. Clair Shores and the woman I hadn't talked to in 9 years was the official chaperone for Miss St. Clair Shores.

Miss St. Clair Shores is 23. I told her my son is single and 25. She said she is always told things like that but she already has a boy friend. I then convinced the President to give me credit for attending the meeting.

My Facilitator was still talking to the woman who has been upset with me for nine years and was telling us how she was born again. I announced that we had to leave. I had to go preach a sermon on a Cable TV show called "The Saving Word."

My Facilitator left the restaurant with me. I said farewell to Miss St. Clair Shores, waved at the chaperone, shook hands with my Facilitor and thanked him for coming. He is a prince of guy.

There is no end to the ignorant lay people who will vote for and fund Facilitators across the LCMS, even while there is supposed to be a clergy shortage.