It was a party for students, professors, alumni and prospective students, a time for
fun, fellowship, wit, and humor in the Fort Wayne Student Commons, Monday night before the
Symposium. The axiom is true, "Many a true word has been said in jest."
There was a 24 page 8 ½ by 11 booklet for all in attendance, titled "Concordia
The Illogical Q Party."
After a review of the printed agenda for the evening's revelry, the greatest fear and
the butt of jokes was, of all things, the LC-MS congregational Voters' Assembly.
The following are verses from a few of the songs, in which the entire assembly, of more
than a hundred, joyfully participated.
Jack the Lutheran Pastor
(Sung to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon")
(Chorus)
"Jack, the Lutheran pastor who hates the papacy
And frolicked in the Walther myth of voters' supremacy."
Little Herman Otten loved that rascal Jack
And pulled some string to get him to
Write about religious stuff. Oh,
(Double Chorus)
Together they would travel to speak against heresy
Herman kept extensive files against his 'enemies,'
Noble priests and bishops
Would hide whene'er they came,
Bad Dp's would lower their heads
When Jack roared out their names, Oh,
(Double Chorus)
Jack set up a website to fight the liberal hordes
But soon the website Walther First
Went way, way overboard.
One gray night it happened, Jack fired off a flaming dart
Instead of shooting at a lib, he shot at Kurt Marquart.
His head was bent in sorrow, but sinful pride remained
"Marquart is just covering for
Those profs down in Fort Wayne!"
Offending, life-long friends, and gaining great disdain
Many thought that mighty Jack had finally gone insane!"
(Double Chorus)
I Am Jesus' Right Hand Man
(Sung to "I Am Jesus Little Lamb")
I am Jesus' right hand man
Needed by the church I am
Cause my name is Laurence White
I joined the religious ri- - ght.
I'll change Synod's polity.
Or she'll die eternally.
I am Jesus right hand man,
Needed by the Church I am.
I'll sniff out a story rotten
Or my name ain't Herman Otten.
My appointment's been denied
Even though I'm certified.
I am Jesus' right hand man,
Needed by the Church I am.
I enjoy creating Schism.
Hyper-euro Lutheranism
Is the thing that I attack.
You can call me pastor Jack
(There are 3 more verses)
It Only Takes a Vote
(Sung to "It Only Takes a Spark")
It only takes a vote
To remove a faithful pastor
And soon all those around
We'll show the church who's master
That's how it is with Synod,
Once you've experienced it.
Democracy, it works for me,
I want to vote him out.
It only takes a vote
To exercise the priesthood
We want our pastor out
He preaches like a priest would
And nothing like the Baptists
We think they're right on.
Assem-bl-ee, Suprem-a-cy
I want to vote him out.
(There are two more verses)
The booklet also included a full-page spoof of the Second National Free Conference on
C. F. W. Walther titled, "Reclaiming Walther First: Jesus Last. Theme: 'Where two or
three Walther quotes are misquoted, there you have a Synod.'"
During the lectures and Banquet two different pastors handed me red and black
"Voter Assembly Buster" lapel stickers. There was also a second sticker with a
cross promoting Hyper-Euro-Lutherans.
At the Banquet downtown, with some 800 people in attendance, one of the highlights of
the evening's entertainment was Dr. David Scaer asking all of the lay people to stand up,
about 200. He then told them that Pastor Jack Cascione says now you can all vote to become
a church. There was a great deal of laughter from the audience. Doctor Scaer then asked
all of the Hyper-Euro-Lutherans to stand up. Between 300 and 400 people stood up. There
was a great deal of applause for the Hyper-Euro Lutherans.
(A Hyper-Euro-Lutheran is someone who supports a return to pre-Walther European
Lutheran hierarchy similar to that taught by Martin Stephan, Wilhelm Loehe, and Grabau.)
My picture was then flashed on the screen in front of the audience with the
announcement that Pastor Cascione was one of the ten most influential people in the LC-MS.
No, they don't like Voter Supremacy at Fort Wayne.
However, not one professor from the St. Louis Seminary was present for the "Second
National Free Conference on C. F. W. Walther," held on the first weekend in November
in St. Louis. Walther and his Voters' Assemblies are something they want to forget.
In the 1960's and '70's, life in the Synod was a lot simpler. There were two sides,
libs and conservatives. Today it is a three-way divide like the old Clint Eastwood
spaghetti Western, "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." We have those who want to
keep Walther's congregational polity, those who want PLI/Church Growth/Leadership
Training, and those who want a return to pre-Walther European Lutheran hierarchy.
No side has a majority to support its own candidate at the Convention. The whole
scenario makes for some strange political bedfellows. Much of the conservative movement of
the '70's has devolved into orthodoxy for its own sake.
During the Banquet, three Fort Wayne professors let me know confidentially that they
supported Voters' Assemblies and they couldn't understand what was happening at Fort
Wayne. The problem must be placed squarely at the feet of the 1989 Balance candidate,
Chairman of the Board of Regents, Rev. David Anderson.
After the Banquet, a layman commented to me that he couldn't believe what he had just
witnessed. The man has considerable experience in business. I told him if this had been a
Midwest Regional Allstate Insurance Agents' event, the focus would have been on the
customer. If this had been a Midwest Regional Ford Auto Dealers' Banquet, the focus would
have been on the driver. But this was an LC-MS pastors' event and the focus was on them.
The layman agreed completely.
Pastors with no constituency may soon find out they are no longer pastors.